Champagne Taste – Beer Can Design

3 May

Really?

Yes, this is just the look I was going for. I say Casual Elegance, you say Frat Party. This is my life. I could walk around my house for eleventeen hours straight, fluffing pillows, hanging art with the precision of a plastic surgeon, treating stains like a CSI agent. It’s a pointless battle, I know. Everyone tells me – Oprah says “just let it go”. She can shut the hell up though because she has an awesome staff of designers, fluffers, hangers and dog butt wipers. Yes, I just told Oprah to shut up. Kelly Ripa too – if her kids wipe poop on her sofa, she gets a new one. The next day.  And I bet Mark doesn’t ever put beer cans on her mantle. Although, he can put his beer cans on my mantle any day. And when I say mantle, I mean bedside table. And when I say his beer cans, I mean his retainers.

My children wipe boogers on pretty much everything, my dog does unspeakable things to my silk pillows. But, I continue to fight the fight. I’m not crazy or anything….I got my level, I got my touch up paint, I got my magic eraser (what the hell is in those things, they can make people disappear),  I got my OCD. This is what W brings to the design table. Oh, that’s ok dearest – the mantle is your coaster. Our house is your stable. Coors Light is just as nice as a candle. I almost didn’t even notice it. Maybe you won’t notice the bumper sticker I put on your big manly truck. “Honk if you love Air Supply”.

~C

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7 Responses to “Champagne Taste – Beer Can Design”

  1. Jessica May 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    I totally feel your pain… What my children and my 6th child have done to this house is downright wrong. Unspeakable even. But yes, I too keep fighting the good fight (wtf does that even mean) and hope that one day they’ll pick up some of my AWESOME OCD tendencies, b/c one of them HAS to have inherited them, RIGHT? RIGHT!?

    • Charlene May 3, 2011 at 8:51 pm #

      Right! Cheers to a little OCD!

  2. Debbi May 3, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    Bahahahahaa!! Oh C, I love you 🙂

    • Charlene May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

      Thanks Debbi! Love you too! xoxo

  3. Jay May 9, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

    I didn’t even know Oprah had a fluffer! Does Gail know this? Perhaps he is what Steadman needs to get ready for his obligatory duty… so many questions, so little answers.

    • Charlene May 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

      Oh Jay – she has many fluffers. I think Gail is actually one of them. I heart your brain.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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