Go Pluck Yourself

20 May

Dear M,

I was sitting in the school parking lot forgetting that you can actually see through car windows, plucking a rogue chin hair, when I look over and see R, the cute dad, in his black truck, looking right at me. I was wondering if you could drive my son to school for the rest of the year?

Please learn window tinting at your next Auto Workshop for Awesome Women Weekend Getaway.

Thanks,

 C

This is an actual email I sent last month. I’m pretty sure the recipient of this email is one of our MANY followers. You know who you are. I want to thank you for your support. Incidentally, R won’t stop looking at my chin. The best part is that when he caught me, I didn’t stop. I wanted it to look like I was totally confident and secure with my decision to groom publicly.

I’m pretty sure that was the best decision.

Now, I can’t look him in the eye, but at the same time I over-compensate. Like I haven’t seen him in years and I am just so damn excited he is there! I am so comfortable with my plucking location that I am just going to be so cheery and welcoming and enthusiastic. “Oh hi R! How are you? Goooood! Great! Yes, excellent… now, where is my son??? Hmmm….” I then typically do an about face into a wall or tree and pray I knock myself out. But I never do.

I can’t expect him to understand, he clearly didn’t read that article in Cosmo about the supermodel that plucks only when she is flying (in first class) because “the light is so great”. What? I’m kind of a supermodel. My car is kind of like a private jet. Except for the french fries and goldfish on the floor. And the no privacy/anonymity thing. Whatever, it’s not like I was picking my nose. Okay, it’s exactly like I was picking my nose.

Carpool anyone?

Should stick to waxing,

Not so invisible C

Then, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in.

 

 

 

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One Response to “Go Pluck Yourself”

  1. Nina May 20, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    Hysterical and I’m pretty sure I’ve been in this scenario at some point although maybe not the school parking lot! so funny!

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