Recession Restaurant Reviews

25 May
On a much more serious note, we’d like to share with you our favorite restaurants (in a pallid attempt to get noticed and subsequently promoted by restaurateurs).
 
* Solstice, Kingston – This is an all-time favorite of ours. The bartender is a doll and the food is like that of a big city as opposed to a town that’s only claim to fame is being next to Plymouth. Get the tuna tacos and a glass of the unoaked chardonnay.  The bartender also makes a sick Gemini, an elderflower cocktail that dazzles the senses and doesn’t taste like pure battery acid.
 
* Clio, Boston’s Back Bay – If you’re in the mood to hemorrhage money, go here. In fact, just walk in throwing dollah dollah bills y’all. Or just set your wallet on fire at the door. Hell, it’s only money. I will say that the food is amazing. The Round the Bend Pork makes me weak in the knees and the foie grais is foie awesome. They’ll even saber a bottle of champagne for you if you’re feeling like an extra, super pretentious prick. Why not just slaughter a baby lamb while you’re at it?
 
* The Wine Cellar and Dessert Bar, Plymouth – This hidden gem in the heart of Manomet is a must try. Yes, Manomet has a heart. It’s called the Wine Cellar. In the basement of Foppiano’s you are transported to a different land. Where you will eat, drink and be merry. Then hit up Serious Cycles for some sweet gear. Get the Chateau St. Jean de Lavaud, Pomerol, Bordeaux. It has suave tannins. And the Moroccan Chicken.
 
* Alma Nove, Hingham – Are you serious Clark? This place is perfect. Can’t think of anything I don’t like about it. There’s a wall of fire outside for a little après…um, eat. Mark Wahlberg is not there in his underwear, strangely enough, but his brother is the chef. Me liko the lobster risotto. And  the red velvet cupcake.
 
* Island Creek Oyster Bar, Boston’s Kenmore – Haven’t been there yet. But really want to go. Having eaten my body weight in IC oysters on more than one occasion, I am sure it is an experience.

 

Drink recipe of the month: Oh, and Bethenny Frankel? I know you’re reading this. Don’t steal this recipe to make buko bucks, only then to pretend to adore your fans. Of whom I used to be. Until you removed our blog from your “Fan Page.” Because not only do you not like your birthday or your mother, you also don’t like helping others. Shocker. Whore.

Ahem, The Gemini:

Ingredients
4 ounces fresh grapefruit juice, strained
3 ounces St-Germain liqueur 
2 ounces vodka
Ice cubes
Prosecco
2 grapefruit-rind twists

Directions

1. Mix grapefruit juice, St-Germain, vodka, and ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake and strain into 2 chilled glasses. Top with Prosecco.
 
2. Garnish with a grapefruit twist. Cause you have time for that.

Cheers,

Bernie Madoff’s assistant

This is totally unnecessary and dangerous. But I'm rich.

  

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2 Responses to “Recession Restaurant Reviews”

  1. jackie May 25, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    Did we have them saber champagne for us at Clio? Everything after the deconstructed pig is a little fuzzy…

    • Bitchin Sisters May 25, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      God no. But we did have a lovely meal. A huge table of money had it done next to us though. And you introduced me to foie gras. I have you to blame for my new found taste.

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