Blog Off-slash-My New Favorite Things

15 Jun

We’re having a blog off with MODG. She may not know about it, but believe me, we do.

So I’d like to introduce to you some of my favorite things as of late. Call me a philanthropist, but being a mom who has penetrating thoughts of natural disasters tearing her children from her on a daily basis, this stuff tends to get me.  I’m stable.

1.) Rachel Roy’s Kindness is Always Fashionable Tote:

screen_shot_2011_05_12_at_31224_pm

Japan’s earthquake and the Pacific tsunami was one of the world’s largest humanitarian crises. And yesterday I was lamenting over how I was possibly going to be able to pick up my dry cleaning AND get to the grocery store before 7:00 PM. Excuse me while I back the car over myself. Buy one. They’re 25 bones, all proceeds go to GlobalGivings Japan earthquake and tsunami relief fund and people will think you’re nice. Even if you’re not.

2.) Little Bee, by Chris Cleave (a.k.a. my brotha from anotha motha.)

Little Bee [Book]

This book made me clutch the stranger next to me on the commuter rail. But then again, what doesn’t? Warning: You may want to become a vigilante and kill Nigerian oil soldiers after you read this. Again. I invisioned myself running down the beach with a machete and war paint on my face on more than one occasion. Email me at I’mamofovigilante@gmail.com if you’d like to join my gang.

3.) Clarins Delicious Self Tanning Cream:

Clarins 'Delicious' Self-Tanning Cream No Color 4.2 oz

You have no idea. This shit is like liquid gold. I would eat it if I could. Please note: It will not make you look like the girl on the website, but it will remedy your translucent, pinkish…slightly purple at times skin. Bonus? It doesn’t smell like battery acid. Score! <Smears it all over face and body.>

4.) Why God? Why?

Please watch. It’s 50 seconds of validation that rich people actually do suck. Sure, making fun of people flies in the face of everything this post stands for, but seriously? Wench? Have you ever attended a funeral?

5.) Tie between the Gyro Bowl and The Toasty Wrap:

The Gyro Bowl is amazing. My daughter gets this thing whipping. Her mission in life, aside from systematically breaking me down? To get the contents of the gyro bowl to fly out of it. My husband can also keep his nails in it. Evidently.

The Toasty Blanket. A blanket you ask? Nah! A sweatshirt? Never! I choose my Toasty Wrap. Sure, you will burst into flames if you go near a candle, but you can lounge comfortably for hours on the couch with this sucker on. Even Montel endorses it. And God knows he’s our Litmus test for normalcy. Not sure how it differs from the Snuggie or Slanket but I keep mine right next to my I’m Wicked Fucking Lazy Slippers.

In your face, MODG. In. Your. Face. <Flips hair.>

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4 Responses to “Blog Off-slash-My New Favorite Things”

  1. Bitchin Sisters June 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    I’d like to point out that we really love MODG. Like an insane amount. Like we imagine having drinks with her n’stuff.

  2. modg June 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm #

    In my face is right.

    • Bitchin Sisters June 23, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

      We love you, MODG. No seriously. We do.

  3. modg June 23, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    I love you too. seriouslier.

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