The Gungadeen – Not for all Viewers

24 Jun
I have a girl crush on my OB/GYN. And Cat Deeley. So today when she (the GYNNIE, not Cat Deeley – but if you know where she got that sick white tuxedo, do tell) told me that even she has a gungadeen, I fell all the more in love with her.
 

I'm not a gynecologist, but I can rock a tuxedo.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Mom and Sister Mary Francis, please stop reading immediately. You’ve been warned.
 
The Gungadeen = A cross between a gunt and a fupa.  
 
After birthing my first child, I looked like this:
 

Me after First Baby. Not really, but I'm dead serious.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I lost all 37 lbs, and then some, that I had gained while making a full-time job out of eating snickers and pub food. Nursing was like an acceptable form of Dexatrim and I loved doing back bends in my bikini. On the beach.
 
And then…Me after baby #2:
 

Also comes in black. Thank God.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I started to look more like  this:
 

Yup. That's mofo Sean Astin. I mean me after Second Baby.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
So when I saw the post below, I felt warm and fuzzy (and a little boged out) all at the same time. Men, if you have even made it this far, do not open this link.
 
 
I am now further committed in my steadfast plight to give my daughter a healthy body image. And that having babies is a beautiful thing (regardless of the selfish mutilation that they subject us to) and for the love of Christ, use the damn shea butter during pregnancy. And of course teaching her the importance of not getting an ankle tattoo (I hate you, Kelly Ripa). And to never ever wear a fedora with a wife beater. Because if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Nothing says “I’m a huge slut” like a fedora and a wife beater.
 
Throwing out my Mederma and unabashedly busting out backbends on the beach. In a one piece.
 
<Hikes up Spanx with head held high.>
 
 
 
 
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6 Responses to “The Gungadeen – Not for all Viewers”

  1. Erin June 24, 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    I have a fedora :’-(

    • Bitch Slap June 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm #

      Do you wear it with a wife beater? No. Then it doesn’t matter.

  2. Charlene June 28, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    I still don’t know what a gungadeen is. Show me.

    • Bitchin Sisters June 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

      You’re quick on your feet.

  3. Charlene June 28, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    Haha! I re-read that part! SO funny. I thought it was the spanx/corset thing “The gungadeen”. By the way, thanks for scaring off our 4 male readers.

    • Bitchin Sisters June 29, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

      don’t worry, they’ll be happy when we post NAKED PICTURES OF BROOKLYN DECKER soon enough.

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