Just another reason to love (and help) New Jersey.

5 Nov

I married into a family from New Jersey. When I first met my husband, I heckled him endlessly about his home state based solely on conjecture and stereotypes. Shocker. I know. But while we’re being honest, I also asked him if he was Mexican in freshmen year biology lab. What? He was super tan. Thanks, I feel better now.

Having only driven through the dirty Jerz en route to much cooler places like Myrtle Beach, Virginia and um Delaware, I had no idea what this glorious state had to offer.

I knew very little about NJ. So little in fact, I actually asked his parents if their very large poster of the Garden State hanging in the hallway was Egypt. I got blank stares in return. And maybe even a little shake of the head. He still married me.

Dude. Tell me that doesn’t look like Cairo, Egypt?

For the past twelve years I have had the pleasure of visiting this beautiful, in some parts idyllic, state. That’s probably grammatically incorrect, but quite frankly I don’t give a shit.

There’s a lot of awesomeness in this state. Like more than Six Flags and funnel cake.

In NJ, stuff like this happens.

Great Falls. Paterson, New Jersey. Also a perfect spot to hide Theresa Giudice’s body.

And this.

Lake Mohawk. Sparta, New Jersey. It’s like a mofo Norman Rockwell picture here.

When some people think New Jersey, they think John Malkovich getting repeatedly dumped on the turnpike. Or Cake Bosses. Sure, a bunch of vapid, soulless orange morons may visit the shore and film their tragic little lives, but trust me…this state is more than spray tans, housewives and mobsters.

Raise your hand if you understood anything that happened in this movie? Or if you just liked that Cameron Diaz was quasi ugly?

Last week, a one-eyed, blow hard slut named Sandy blasted through the state, wreaking unprecedented havoc. And she wasn’t even wearing tight leather pants.

The Sandy that doesn’t blow your house down, ruin your life and can dance like an angel.

And things like this happened:

Hoboken, NJ

And this:

Jersey Shore

And:

Decimation.

After the hurricane, people banded together like it was the old days when community was valued and vital to survival.

Our friends, “the Angels of Hoboken.” Giving us all hope for mankind.

And it’s nary Christmas or Chanukkah. Look at me being all PC. Shalom and good evening to you, my healthy friends.

But, it’s getting cold.

A Nor’easter may hit New Jersey and New York on Wednesday.

This hurricane has been seventy shades of devastating. And why’ll power may be slowly coming back on and fallen trees are being removed, there is still a long road ahead for the good people of New Jersey (and New York).

Here’s how you can help:

Start by following my friend Kerri-Anne Lavin on Twitter. Or friend her on Facebook. Unless you’re a perv. (In which case, call me.)

Kerri has valuable updates and really easy, yet critical ways to help out. And she’s hot so it’s a win-win.

Donations:

Text “redcross” to 90999 to donate $10.

Check out Project Rebuild Staten Island

Follow FEMA for other ways you can help.

Say a prayer. Get informed. Hug your mom. Punch Snooki.

Help.

Do it. You’ll feel good.

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2 Responses to “Just another reason to love (and help) New Jersey.”

  1. Andrea Martin September 4, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

    Can I just say that I love you? And I live in Jersey… so this post not only made me smile, but it gave me hope that someone “out there” (beyond the Delaware and Hudson Rivers) *understands.*
    You, my friend, are a keeper – and I will put you on my blogroll.

  2. Nancy September 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm #

    Love to see someone acknowledge that New Jersey is more than spray tans, guidos, housewives and mobsters. I am not going to say that we don’t have a lot of that because we do but most of them aren’t really from NJ!! At the end of the day, New Jersey is great. We have beaches, beautiful views, and are centrally located between New York and Philadelphia. And yes, the hurricane did more damage than anyone can believe. And while the commercial says that the beaches are open there are still so many people who are not in their homes or lost everything. What I can say is there is passion here, there are people who pool together to help others out, there is fun, there is excitement, there is calm and lots of love! So thank you for seeing beyond the “reality” tv, and I will admit that I watch everyone of those shows!! LOL…

    And if you want a little inspiration of what NJ raises, check out my daughter and her best friend. You will be amazed, what two 11 year olds can create and do after something as devastating as Sandy…..

    http://www.facebook.com/OperationCupcakeNJ

    love your blog 🙂

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